#CampusHighlight Mapres FKM UI Part 3: Final

Saat pengumuman finalis, gw lagi di rumah, gak pergi ke kampus seharian itu. Lagi leyeh-leyeh di kasur, suddenly ada notifikasi di grup mapres yang mengumumkan nama-nama lolos final mapres. And I found my name! Sudden tears come out. What I think at that moment “Allah, you know me. You know all my sin. You know I am not performing well on last presentation. What’s your plan to me? How could Allah be so kind by letting me become Mapres finalist?

And day pass giving me bunch of revision for paper. Latihan kembali diadakan. Pertama adalah feedback dan konsultasi dengan Pak Pandu. Kedua adalah teknik presentasi oleh pak Zarfiel. In this final stage, I must presenting my paper in english. So, it’ll be more challenging.

Tapi memang gw merasakan banget tekanan  dalam diri gw. Each time, I would think like this “I am not gonna make it into top three, it must be either Anita, Arief or Kak Alex.” This negative thinking affect my whole life those days. I feel pressured every time. And I guess I fail to change those stress into positive vibe. Yet, it disrupt me. I can not sleep well, always thinking what would the final presentation be but didn’t make any real action to make my perform better. Those are days when I choose to go home right after class because I just feeling insecure whenever in Campus.

One thing that also bother me is my paper point. Each time I asking my lecturer about my paper, they gave me a lot, different and many times contradictive suggestion from one dosen to another. When I told Kak Zahrin (one of finalist) about my confession on this, she said that dosen will always be like that. It is you now who must make your standpoint. And I’ll be like… oke, I’ll take the risk. I use  the makesense suggestion  and throw others. Not really throwing, but at least I know what I should say if Dosen ask that on final presentation.

Day minus one, tension get real. it’s the same day as Opening Ceremony SF I remembered. I used to come, but then Anita ask me to join latihan di promdok. Before, we also have drilling with anak K3 (much thanks to Kemmy Audrey who gave many good suggestion, also Kak Alex and Anita and not forget Mega for organizing this drilling)

(Foto diatas diambil sesaat sebelum Arief presentasi, keliatan banget muka-muka stress)

It’s the day, I couldn’t be more nervous than that. I got time right after Arief and It quite scare me. Arief did very well on his presentation. He delivered it smoothly, bring joke sometimes, and totally  impressed the judges. Then come my time to perform. Subjectively, I feel more relaxed than my last semifinal presentation. But when it comes to tanya jawab session, I feel really pressured upon Pak Pandu question.

After finish my presentation, I run to back of Promdok and……… crying! Omaigad it come all of sudden! like, hey! I am not a cry baby, bukan orang baper, cengeng dan gak pernah nangis di kampus sebelumnya. Tapi gw bener-bener gak bisa nahan buat gak nangis. gw langsung diajak keluar. gw inget banget Kak Aini dateng bawain coklat terus gw masih sesenggukan. Gw duduk dikelilingin anita ankur riris hani tini, haffff I really am can not control my self at that time. Mungkin ini akumulasi semua stress gw selama tahap final. At that point, gw merasa gagalll banget. Puas nangis, gw memilih balik ke dalem ruangan, liat presentasi kak Zahrin sama kak Alex. Huwafff it’s quite a longgg day. I treat my self a Filosofi Kopi after class in Mall Kalibata.

One week after, pengumuman mapres tiba. Di tahap ini gw udah legowo banget. I know who will win and I am proud Arief make it into Juara 1 Mapres FKM UI 2015.  He such a genius yet humble person I know. Having him representing FKM for Mapres UI, I feel a total relief and proud. Kalau kata Yuris, Arief itu tipe langka mapres fkm. Biasanya, mapres fkm comes from paper and conference. Sedangkan arief adalah tipe anak MUN yang udah jadi chair MUN luar negeri. Meskipun Arief gak jadi Mapres UI, tapi we all know kalau dia adalah yang terbaik dari fkm tahun ini buat maju ke UI and we also can see that he already give his utmost best.

Anddd that’s my journey in Mapres FKM UI. For fellow junior who wants to join Mapres : Lucky you if you have prepared enough for those CV matter. But If not, don’t be afraid. If it’s your dream, give it a try. And keep this in mind: Be Positive!  The storm sure pass. Have fun in the process, don’t stress over it too much (don’t be like me seriously! take it easy and relax!)

You know what, at the beginning of this year, I wrote down my resolution for 2015 in front of my desk. One of those, I written: “Finalis 6 Besar Mapres FKM UI” dibawahnya gw tulis “Don’t let your fear stop you from your dream, GO FOR IT”. I write it even before Mapres start. Allah help me to achieve my dream, and I still on my way to achieve another

To end this long post, I quoted Murakami in Kafka On The Shore, who quite sum my journey in Mapres:

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. But one thing is certain. When you come out the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about ”

-#CampusHighlight Mapres FKM UI finished-