Sidenotes of Life

Pencerah Nusantara plays a big role in my life. That’s true. It’s a giant leap, an uncomfortable one. And on this road less traveled, not only I figured many things about health problem, I also discovered more about me. During my times here, I finally am able to realize my ugly truth. Back when I was in the city, everything is so chaotic, but comforting pleasure is just one door away. I easily reach my parents, easily hanging around and eat good food, hoping into amusing things, etc. But here, I confront it myself, with more limited access to those distracting pleasure. I then became fully aware of it. And it’s hard. Really, really hard. At some points, I ever tough that I going through a mild depression. Those who know me will know that I quit reserved, content and calm. I hardly open my stories to anyone. I see it as a sign of weakness. So, I don’t usually tell people about my struggles. But here, I keep on contacting my friends and mentors, to give me encouragement.

Halo semua, Assalamualaikum! Sudah lama sekali gue gak ngeposting sesuatu di blog. Almost two years (wow, quite a long time) It is not that I forgot my blogspot, no. I remember it. But, while I want to make a good article, I keep postponed it. As I become more concious of how a good writing is, I become more and more afraid to publish something. "It is not good enough", myself said. "It is cheesy" "Can't you make a more scientific ideas or beautiful phrase?" and the list goes on and on.  I didn't show any of my writing to public, until I began to join #30haribercerita in instagram. For me, writing in IG has less pressure compared to blog or web (yah walaupun sekarang juga kerasa sih pengen lebih bagus lagi caption dan fotonya). Singkat cerita, gw ikut program ini dua tahun. Then I realized something, I can write. I have that ability in myself. Yet the doubt and insecurities keep running on my mind. I got a LOT of support and encouragement fro